I love that our baby is the perfect mashup of all of our best features. 🙂
I had avoided making mug cakes because gross, the microwave, it’s not real baking. But tonight I decided I wanted an excuse to torch something so I threw some stuff into a bowl, whisked it up, scooped it into a couple of mugs, tossed some chocolate chips in there for good measure and popped it into the microwave.
Lighting a handful of marshmallows on fire via a butane torch also seemed like a good idea.
How did it taste? Like cake. I think I nuked it for about 15 seconds too long, and I don’t think this will be a regular deal, but on nights where one of my boys asks if we have dessert and we really don’t I will remember that I can have a totally kid-pleasing dessert in front of them in five minutes. And bonus: no eggs or butter so I won’t dip into my “real” baking supplies.
Well, here we are in my birth month, ending my 37th year. 38 isn’t really a milestone birthday per se, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I am leaving behind.
I had six and a half childbearing years. I was pregnant with my big boys at age 28 and gave birth to my last baby a few months before my 35th birthday. My goal was to not have children past 35, and really having one more was a big (pleasant) surprise.
Getting the IUD that would end my baby-having (it’s removal will be at the very end of my 40’s) was both a huge deal and completely uneventful. The decision felt big and yet once it was all said and done it felt a bit anticlimactic.
There was a finality with the birth of G that I didn’t necessarily feel with his brothers. I did think for a long time that I was through with having kids, that “getting it over with” in one shot–two for the price of one–was the way to go, but it was such a gift to be able to have one more. To experience pregnancy and parenting with someone whose worldview and life goals meshed with mine.
I loved being pregnant (as much as you can love Texas summer pregnancies) I loved the sweet infant phase. I love watching my boys get bigger and grow and change and become more of who they are. It’s surreal to think I have three babies. It’s surreal to realize I haven’t been a carefree single lady in a really long time.
The biggest thing to get used to about growing up and being a parent is just the loss of freedom and spontaneity. My life is not set up to hop on a plane or spend a bunch of money on things that have nothing to do with kids or food or necessities. I didn’t realize how much autonomy I had in my twenties. I read over my journals and marvel at how small and manageable my stresses were. I only had myself to care for. It felt huge and confusing then, but I had no idea how different things would be in the decade to come.
I wonder what the next phase of my life will be like. I look at my boys and I wish desperately to slow things down, to hold on to life with small children as long as I can. I am acutely aware of how time flies. I can feel their childhoods slipping through my fingers.
One day they will be gone from my home. No more making lunches. No more rides to school. No more tiny voices filling my house. No more little boy giggles and squeals and snuggles.
I dread the day when my littles don’t snuggle in my lap or cover my face in kisses. I think back to all the freedom I didn’t appreciate and I miss that time…but mostly I am sad that I didn’t fully understand how much I should savor it. I am fully aware now and trying to be present and thankful and enjoy this experience–I know that none of this is forever. Each stage of life brings different challenges and joys and stresses and pleasures.
As I get closer to the next decade of my life I think fondly of the ones that have passed. I look forward to a time of travel and exploration with my kids and with my partner. I look forward to sharing the joys of my children’s accomplishments and milestones. I embrace 38 and welcome this new year.
I have no regrets.
I was excited to have a big holiday to bake something from the new cookbook. I chose the tart immediately and bought the ingredients.
Later I read through the whole recipe and my heart sunk. Not only would I be making a meringue for the first time (for some reason meringue has seemed intimidating and I’ve avoided making recipes that have it) but I needed a torch.
I don’t have a torch. I went to buy a torch at Bed Bath and Beyond and left empty-handed. I didn’t want to spend that much money for one recipe.
My husband went to Harbor Freight for something else and noticed that they carried very cheap mini torches. I went back and bought one ($7) and grabbed some butane from Lowe’s. ($5)
I made the crust, which was a breeze, although I always manage to extend my crust up too high which makes the edges too tall and jagged. I need to work on that.
Next up was the filling. This part was tricky because I was using a 10″ springform instead of the 9″ it called for so I wanted to make a bit more filling. I added a bit more of everything including an extra egg and crossed my fingers that it would set. (it did)
I put it in the fridge overnight and on Thanksgiving morning I made the meringue. It came together so much easier and quicker than I was anticipating. It was beautiful: bright white and glossy and it was fun to swirl it over the tart. The only thing left to do (besides unmold it) was to torch it.
I started to very tentatively brown the tops of the swirls and my husband was standing next to me trying to control the urge to grab it from me. I handed it over willingly and he perfectly browned the meringue for me.
I took it in my lap to our friend’s house and removed the springform ring there. It came off perfectly and everyone ended up loving the tart. Of course I was making mental notes about what I would do better/differently next time but that’s what happens with a self-critical baker. 🙂
The next-day leftovers (there was hardly any left!) were perfect and delicious although I don’t think I’d keep this tart any longer than that. I will happily add this to my regular holiday rotation.
What did you bake for Thanksgiving?
This year (October 17) was our four year wedding anniversary. We decided to celebrate with one of our favorite musicians Ryan Adams. He came to town to play the Moody Theater October 22 (he did an ACL taping) and we saw him the next night on the 23rd.
The show was perfect and amazing–it far surpassed any expectations I could have had. I saw DRA perform twice in support of Gold (the first album I bought of his–yes, even before Whiskeytown and Heartbreaker) in the early 00’s in San Francisco.
Those shows were great, but he was in a different place back then. (weren’t we all?) It was nice to get to share the experience with my husband–we’ve been listening to his records together for years and Ryan was in top form. He was warm and funny and goofy and the songs were performed flawlessly.
He didn’t play my favorite song from the new album (Feels like Fire) but he played so many of my other long-time favorites that it didn’t really matter.
When I was working at Bare Escentuals in the late 90’s they sold a yummy shea butter-based lip balm. It came in a giant tube and was the perfect Tahitian vanilla. I loved it–it was my Holy Grail lip balm.
A few later when I started working natural foods stores I realized that the lip balm was made by Mode de Vie and must have been private labelled for Bare Escentuals. I was happy to have it readily available again, and it was still in the giant tube.
Now they have downsized to a regular tube, but the creamy shea butter balm is the same. And I don’t care what the packaging is like, I am just still happy that I can get this delicious, soothing, hydrating lip balm.
It’s available at Whole Foods and other natural markets, and online.
It also comes in red tango: a slightly tinted berry balm, and cappuccino–a warm espresso flavor. I like to use red tango in place of lipstick with just a bit of mascara and brow pencil on casual makeup days.
*Here is what the color of the tint in red tango looks like.
Cost: About $7
What is your favorite lip balm?